"Hey guys, I found a group of men today that are running Christmas specials on various types of "Services!"
"Get them while they're hot!"
"Free wrestle and fuck with any order of $100 dollars or more at my web site!"
"Anyone up for a Frot?"
"Get your order in now guys!" "I'll be making tit milk alll month!"
"You'll be picking hair out of your teeth all month with this man's chest rubbing service!"
"Free ball washes to all men who buy the Super Car wash package!"
"Free butt fuckings to all paperboys with hairy muscular legs through the month of December!"
"Get one free suck off for every gym locker rented through the month!"
"Take a bear to bed for half price through January 2013!"
"Free facials to all massage patrons...this week only!"
"Free dick measurements through the month of December to all men and boys over 18!"
"Have Skippy change out your DNA!" "Get three sessions for the price of two during December!"
"Free photo with a hairy Santa helper with every purchase of a cream facial!"
"DNA change outs guaranteed, or your jizz will be cheerfully refunded!"
"Santa and elf spankings given to all men and boys who sit on Santa's lap during the Holiday season!" "Must be over 18 to participate!"
"Have an original "Yule Log" delivered to your home on Christmas Eve at no extra charge!"
"Free one hour seminars on when to be naughty or nice this Christmas!....and to whom!"
"Free tips on how to include your dog in Christmas holiday gift giving!"
"Free seminar on how to peddle your ass for fun and profit this Christmas!"
"Free workshop on how to fuck the boss's son to get that raise you're looking for!"
"Hire me for your Christmas party!" "I can jump out of a cake, strip, or fuck any employee in your organization male or female while others watch!" "All sessions are half off during the month of December!"
"Attention K-Mart Shoppers!" "Buy one salami at our new low price, and get a second one delivered "Home" for free!"
"Let me make a man out of your son so you won't have to!"
"Private discrete sessions are available at a reduced price through December!" "Satisfaction guaranteed!"
"Don't forget to ask about my Father and Son special!" (Note: All sons must to be over 18, hairy, and muscular to qualify!"
Endorsement to the above ad.... "I was one of the sons converted to manhood by the man above!"
"I would highly recommend his methods to any boy with a decent beef stick and an inferiority complex!"
"I took Skippy's DNA change out course!" "I felt the surge of his cum through my balls and into my entire body in just one session!" "Unfortunately, and due to the popularity of the course, I won't have another appointment until January!...sigh!"
"It seems as if everyone is getting into the DNA change out business!"
"If it wasn't for dedicated volunteers, we'd never make our quota of DNA change outs this month!"
"Skippy won't be able to change out my DNA before Christmas, so I opted for the man above!" "Skippy said that he can always go back "in" to me after the holidays to lighten up my fur somewhat!"
"Instead of milk and cookies, I decided to give Santa a beef stick this year!" "After fucking Elves all summer, he's no doubt ready for this!"
"Get one suck off for free with every pre-cummer!
"Free fucks to every hairy muscle boy that applies!" (year round special)
"Why settle for less, when you an get more cum in your mouth?" "Hire me!"
"Free chest and dick rubs with every boy or man with a hairy set of gonads!" (December 2012 only)
"Worried about a tight butt hole?" "Let me expand that hole for you to accomodate those much larger guys!" "Don't settle for less, go for the gusto!"
"Free fucks to all first time boys or men!" (Must be over 18 to apply)
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