Skippy's Hairy Buddies

"Hey guys!"  "In order to properly prepare for our Ass Wednesday services (there are three today...see below after this posting)  

"Please welcome the Pastors of Saint Skippard (The Modest) Church located in beautiful downtown Heldelberg, Germany!"

"Our senior pastor Fr. Terry was just named Senior pastor of Saint Skippard (The modest) Church.  

Fr. Terry is a Berlin wrestler, hot, hairy and very muscular!"  "He is a rough and ready guy always willing to muscle a man down to give him the fruit of his loins"

(By the way, Saint Skippard "elevated" Fr. Terry to his new position during his investment ceremony this past June!)

"Our special thanks go out to the men of our congregation (The Knights of Saint Skippard) who generously donated their sperm for our Communion Services today!"

"Our assistant pastor Fr. Rolf specializes in working with the young men of the Church!"  "He prepares them for manhood in a way no other man can!"  "Fr. Rolf will be officiating at the second service for the "fucking of the worthy!"

"Our special thanks go to Saint Skippard for his "Saintly" donation to the communion pot, turning the sperm into the tree of life!" 

"Our thanks for the many other clerical donations received from Brother congregations!"

"Meet Brad...6ft, handsome  (I had to say that!)

"He will be the altar boy at the first service, assisting Fr. Terry in the ceremonial "fucking" of the muscleboy!"

"Brad is studying to be a priest in the Church of Saint Skippard (The modest)"

"Gordon will be the altar boy for the second service!"

"Denis will be assisting Fr. Rolf at the third and final service today holding down the muscle boy for his ceremonial fucking!"  "Denis is also studying for the priesthood!"  

"Saint Skippard himself has taken a special interest in the boy preparing him for his final vows on how to be a man..and take it like one!"

"Our thanks to Ekard Drugs for supplying the Holy ointment in today's service!"

"Bruno Hauptman (a member of our congregation) will be the official "thigh spreader for Fr. Terry and Fr. Rolf" (in case they don't have enough muscle themselves)  

"Bruno is a 2010 graduate of Saint Skippard's thigh pulling class"  "His career goals are to muscle every man on the planet with a good set of thigh and calf muscles growing his dick high up into their cavity!"

(Not a bad goal for one so young!)

"Jake Hausermann will be the official "sacrifice" at the first and third service today!"  (Being muscled into position by Fr. Terry)

"As our tradition goes, a muscle man (or boy) is selected every year for Ass Wednesday to take the Saint's (or his representative (ie Fr. Terry or Fr. Rolf) jizz high up into the ass while being muscled into position!"

"Candidates are selected for their muscle, and strength!"  

"Celebrants of the Mass have to penetrate the cavity in order to get the "Primal scream" out of the man being sacrificed!"

"Please note that this is your Church, and a place of worship!"  "Please show all pastors and visiting pastors the proper respect when arriving!"

"John Myers will be sacrificed on the altar at the second service with a traditional "spreading..and a fucking!"

"Please stop by Fr. Emil's box today to pay your respects!"  "Fr. Emil is retiring with his American partner Josh to Miami Beach, USA.  

"His further career plans include starting up a second church in America!"

"Josh (Fr. Emil's partner) will be missed by everyone!"  "St. Skippard is preparing a special mass for both men this Friday!"  "It promises to be a ball draining experience for everyone in attendance!"